Finding Your Joy Again

By KCY

We talk a lot about contentment on Resuscitating You. Everyone wants to feel content. Contentment is happiness, and we’re all searching for that. And that’s truly important to live a meaningful and full life, the life you were meant to live. But today, I want to talk about joy, because joy is the other missing piece of the puzzle that we sometimes forget.

What is joy? When I think of joy, I think of this song we used to sing in a church camp I attended as a kid.

J-O-Y and it’s down in my heart

Deep, deep down in my heart

J-O-Y and it’s down in my heart

Deep, deep down in my heart

Jesus gave me to me

And no one ever can destroy, destroy, destroy….

Taking out the religious aspects of this song, these lyrics epitomize what joy is. It’s a feeling. A feeling of happiness, exuberance, energy, excitement. Something that is deep inside of you. A feeling so gigantic that you can’t contain it. It just bursts out of you, kind of like a jack in the box.

I see joy in children’s faces all the time. They skip, they run, they pump their arms in the air. They laugh and spin around. Their smiles completely light up their faces.

I rarely ever see joy in the faces of adults. We may give a small side smile when something positive happens such as a promotion at work, but that enthusiasm, that joy, is missing. We were all children at one point in time, so where did that joy go?

Some would argue adults are incapable of having joy, because we have too many responsibilities. We’re too busy trying to be successful, make the most money, take care of our families. Another argument is we’ve also had bad experiences. Experiences which have hardened us. A broken relationship, the unattainable job we so desperately wanted, the children we wanted but were never able to have. Negative life events.
While these arguments are valid, we should still be able to experience this joy. So how can we go back to that?

1.     Unplug. Children (at least young children) don’t have mobile phones, computers. They may watch the videos we show them on our phones, but they don’t have social media, email, text messages. They are mostly free of these necessary evils which chain us to work, invoke feelings of FOMO in us, and sometimes, make us feel awful about ourselves.  I challenge you to get rid of all technology for a weekend. Instead of checking your social media, read a book or just simply do nothing. Unplugging allows is to be mindful of our surroundings which is a key aspect of joy.

2.     Sit on the swings at the playground. The only way to think like a kid is to be a kid again. Pump your legs and go as high as you can. Remember the feeling of being in the air, your heart racing, the wind blowing through your hair. Swings can bring out the kid in you.

3.     Call a friend. Don’t text them. Actually, pick up the phone and call them. Or better yet, get together with them. Loneliness contributes to our lack of joy. Nothing kills loneliness more than having a cup of coffee with a friend.

4.     Blow bubbles. This goes back to bringing out the child in you. It seems silly but doing these activities children enjoy, will help you to feel that innocence again. To feel that joy again.

5.     Write down the last experience you had that made you feel utterly happy and perhaps joyful. Then act on it. Now, this is easy if it’s something like eating a donut for dinner or taking a jog to the beach (total opposites I know, but people find joy in different things!). It’s not so easy if it’s something like seeing the Eiffel Tower. Although, that’s still doable. It’s even more difficult if it’s something like having tea with your grandmother has since passed away. You can still reenact the scene of the tea but not with your grandmother. If you have pictures, looking at those old pictures helps. The point is to remember and try to reignite that feeling of joy.

6.     Laugh. It’s as simple as that. Just laugh. And, I’m not talking about that fake hee hee. I’m talking about a big laugh which comes from your gut. Really feel your laugh and relish in it.

Joy is deep inside of all of us. And like the song says, no one can every destroy that. Only we can. It’s up to us to stop the destruction and feel that joy again.